Well, while you were doom scrolling about the most recent tariff grenade or trying to rationalize another 500+ drop in the Down, Brookfield Infrastructure Partners just pulled off a $9 billion middle finger and bought the literal lifeline of America’s gas supply: Colonial Pipeline. (Source: Giphy) Yes, the Colonial Pipeline, the one that moves 100 million gallons of fuel a day, stretches 5,500 miles from Texas to New York, and when hacked back in 2021, sent the East Coast i...
Somewhere in the world right now, a head of state is pacing nervously, waiting on hold for President Trump to try to make a tariff deal. Meanwhile, in the Oval Office, Trump’s got the phone tucked between his ear and shoulder, a well-done steak in one hand, and a Diet Coke in the other… as he rewrites the fate of the American steel industry. Priorities. Because yes, in the middle of global leaders trying to reach him, Trump paused the diplomacy and told the Committee on Forei...
The European Union is trying its hardest to look like it has its sh^t together, but in all seriousness, it’s hard to keep 27 countries on the same page when Donnie Politics just dropped a trade nuke on your largest export market. Trump’s new wave of tariffs—25% on steel, aluminum, cars, and 20% “reciprocal” duties on basically everything else—has sent Brussels scrambling for a response. Publicly, they’re talking about unity. Behind closed doors though, i...
Whenever people start drawing comparisons to historical market crashes, it's usually a sign that something serious is going on. This morning, some analysts began calling it Black Monday (though to be fair, the Dow’s 2% drop doesn’t exactly match the 22% collapse seen on the real Black Monday back in 1987). That said, what happened across Asian markets today is still one of the worst regional selloffs in decades. Across the Asia-Pacific region, losses piled up fast. Hong Ko...
JPMorgan Chase just found out what happens when Wall Street meets White House fanfiction. The stock dropped over 7% on Friday after Truist Securities slapped a downgrade-lite on the nation’s largest bank, trimming its price target from $268 to $264. That’s a $4 haircut, which normally wouldn’t scare anyone—but this time, it wasn’t about JPMorgan itself. It was about the homeboy Trump. (Source: Giphy) As I’m sure you’re well aware by...
If you thought your 2025 was off to a rough start because you missed out on Bitcoin at $40k or got ghosted after a first date at Chili’s (which is pretty rough, I’ll admit)… let me fill you in on how the year is going for Nike. The Swoosh is hurting. Like, “just got pantsed on the stage at graduation” hurting. On Thursday, Nike’s stock dropped 14.46%, after President Trump whipped out a 46% tariff on imports from Vietnam. And just in case that wasn&rsq...
Well, the markets had themselves a real “Don’t worry, I’ve got this” moment—that is, before it careening straight into a wall. The S&P 500 started the day rough down more than 1% mid session, but somehow managed to claw its way back and close green (+0.67%), locking in its third consecutive gain. The Nasdaq and Dow weren’t far behind, each inching higher +0.87% and +0.56%, respectively. However, once the closing bell rang, Trump dropped the “T”...
If you’ve ever wanted to buy a Jeep but felt too broke to purchase a mid-tier shoe box on wheels, well—congrats. Stellantis just hit the panic button and invited you to the employee discount party. No employee badge, or HR login required—just bring your checkbook and your middle finger reserved for tariffs. (Source: Giphy) In short, Stellantis just opened up its employee pricing to the general public. And by “employee pricing,” I mean the kind...
Klarna and StubHub just looked at the market, saw it on fire, and decided now’s not the time to walk into the flames wearing a ticker symbol. And who can blame them? After Trump’s latest tariff grenade tanked the S&P 500 nearly 6% in one day, anyone trying to go public right now would need either a death wish or a serious misunderstanding of how markets work. (Source: Giphy) So here we are, a full-hit the brakes on every Wall Street investment banker's wet dre...
It’s one of those “is the milk bad or just weird-tasting?” kind of moments in the market. Stocks are slipping, meme accounts are posting “funemployed” jokes at a record pace, and everyone from Wall Street to TikTok seems convinced we’re about to enter the economic version of a garage sale. And in the middle of it all, there’s still a crowd holding out hope for Jerome Powell to show up with a fresh rate cut like he’s Gandalf at the Battle of Helm&rs...
It’s clear that Tesla is in the middle of a full-blown tailspin—and not the sexy kind where Musk tweets through it and the stock magically rebounds. The company just posted its first annual sales decline ever. Its gross margins are tanking. Its stock is down over 36% this year and 51% off its high. Most of the headlines are about layoffs, missed delivery targets, and Elon Musk either begging Trump for help or picking public fights with regulators. Meanwhile, investors are trying to f...
Meta’s in the middle of one of the worst selloffs it’s ever experienced since it IPO’d in 2012. The stock’s down 19%, wiping out $307 billion in market cap. But if you thought that would make Mark Zuckerberg worried, think again. The man who once tried to make us all show up to work meetings as legless cartoon avatars is now officially “balls to the wall” with Meta’s AI ambitions. Case in point, over the weekend, Zuck launched Meta’s next-ge...
If you thought your 2025 was off to a rough start because you missed out on Bitcoin at $40k or got ghosted after a first date at Chili’s (which is pretty rough, I’ll admit)… let me fill you in on how the year is going for Nike. The Swoosh is hurting. Like, “just got pantsed on the stage at graduation” hurting. On Thursday, Nike’s stock dropped 14.46%, after President Trump whipped out a 46% tariff on imports from Vietnam. And just in case that wasn&rsq...
Right now the stock market is like a traffic jam in downtown Chicago, with everyone honking, flipping each other off, and praying their gas light doesn’t start blinking. But Goodyear somehow just hit the express lane and blew past the chaos like Vin Diesel in Fast & Furious. Goodyear’s stock popped 12% after Deutsche Bank upgraded it with a BUY. The timing’s obviously not a coincidence. With new tariffs on the horizon, much of the tire industry is up in arms about th...
Klarna and StubHub just looked at the market, saw it on fire, and decided now’s not the time to walk into the flames wearing a ticker symbol. And who can blame them? After Trump’s latest tariff grenade tanked the S&P 500 nearly 6% in one day, anyone trying to go public right now would need either a death wish or a serious misunderstanding of how markets work. (Source: Giphy) So here we are, a full-hit the brakes on every Wall Street investment banker's wet dre...
Look, I know we’re all constantly trying to find the next moonshot stock before the masses catch on. But while everyone’s hitting the sell button due to the new trade war between America and China, there could be a sweet opportunity hiding in plain sight. Maybe you’ve heard of it? Shopify (of course you’ve heard of it), the Canadian company that powers roughly a bajillion online stores (over 1.75 million businesses across 175 countries, to be exact) and just so hap...
Well, someone just won the defense contractor lottery, and it wasn't Lockheed Martin or Raytheon. If you’ve been following along, this isn’t the first time Red Cat Holdings has peaked our interest…but this time, they’ve pulled off a move that’s turning heads across the defense industry. The small drone maker just landed a game-changing contract to become the exclusive provider for the U.S. Army’s Short Range Reconnaissance program. It’s a win...
If you’ve ever wanted to buy a Jeep but felt too broke to purchase a mid-tier shoe box on wheels, well—congrats. Stellantis just hit the panic button and invited you to the employee discount party. No employee badge, or HR login required—just bring your checkbook and your middle finger reserved for tariffs. (Source: Giphy) In short, Stellantis just opened up its employee pricing to the general public. And by “employee pricing,” I mean the kind...
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